


Gross-ery Store

by gothmurdoc



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Phase One (Gorillaz)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 15:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14115765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothmurdoc/pseuds/gothmurdoc
Summary: What's better than a family trip to the grocery store?





	Gross-ery Store

"O.K., I'm headin' out. We need some milk, and we also need some bread." Russel said as he opened Kong Studio's front door.

"I wanna come too, Russ!" Noodle squealed.

"All righty, then. That means 2D and Muds'll have to come too. I don't trust them by themselves in this house after...the summoning Satan incident..." Russel shuddered.

"Did you just say me'n'Muds had to come as well?" 2D said, getting up from the couch.

"Yep. Shake a leg, Murdoc. We're leaving."

"Aw, come ON, Russ. I'm NOT going." Murdoc said grumpily.

"And why's that?"

"I'm a full grown man. I can take care of myself."

"I know that. But, you lost your 'alone in Kong Studios' privileges after you two summoned _Satan_." Russel said angrily. "Right in our damn parking lot!"

"We _did_ clean up! Now lemme stay here. You can bring Dents with you though."

Russel stomped over to Murdoc, which was enough to get him to stop protesting and get up.

The four bandmates walked down to the carpark and got in the Geep.

Murdoc got out his keys, and started the engine.

* * *

The drive to the store was not very long. _It was rather quaint_ , thought 2D. _Seeing all the countryside and small houses_.

After about fifteen minutes, they arrived at the store.

"Wow, Murdoc, I'm impressed," said Russel.

"Whaddya mean?" Murdoc replied snappily.

"I'm just surprised you went...close...to the speed limit. And you didn't run nobody over, so that's good."

"Well, we do have Noodle on board. Wouldn't wanna hurt a kid, y'know."

"Try telling that to her after the 19-2000 music video!" 2D cackled at his own comeback.

"Come ON, you guys! We need milk and bread! And I'm hungry! And thirsty!" shouted Noodle.

"All right." Russel said as he and the guitarist made their way to the entrance of the store. The singer and bassist soon followed

* * *

The store (which shall not be named), was your large, typical chain grocery store, which pretty much every town in the world had.

Murdoc pulled out a cigarette.

"NO SMOKING!" Noodle said.

"Yeah, Muds. We're in a store." Russel replied, shrugging.

"Aw, piss off." Murdoc said, but he did put the cigarette back into the pack.

"All right, what did we need again?" 2D yawned.

"Milk and bread!" Noodle cheered. "Let's go find it, Russ!"

"Oh, all right, Noodle. I'll keep my eyes on you two." Russel said, following Noodle.

The two walked away, which left Murdoc stunned.

"I thought that Russ said...Never mind."

"What're we gonna do now, Muds?" 2D groaned. "We have this huuuge grocery store and nothin' to do!"

"Well, we could just dick around, y'know what I mean?" Murdoc winked.

"Um, in your dreams!" 2D stuck his tongue out.

"Or we could summon Satan again."

"Hmm, well, if it's fun to you. What do we need for that?"

"Lemme see," said Murdoc, pulling a checklist out of his pocket.

"Do you have that thing with you bloody everywhere?!"

"Yes. Now we need, a leg of lamb, some blood, an egg, and some chalk. Luckily we have two of those things. Can you guess which ones, Stu?"

"Erm...The blood and chalk?" 2D responded nervously.

"Right-on! Now, let's get going. We need to do this before Russ and Noods get back, y'hear."

"Sure. Uh, let's get the lamb first. It's gonna need to thaw out a bit, right?"

"Aww, Stu, that's the second smartest thing I've heard you say!" Murdoc said, beaming.

"What was the first?"

Murdoc whispered something in 2D's ear.

"FUCK OFF, Y'BASTARD! I NEVER SAID THAT! NOT TO YOU! Y'DELUSIONAL CUNT!" 2D yelled, grabbing, Murdoc's shirt. Various shoppers started to stare at the two men.

Murdoc calmly ripped the angry singer off of his shirt, and led him to the frozen meat section. He grabbed a container full of lamb limbs ( _poor lambs_ , thought 2D), and let go of 2D's arm. He opened the container, and grabbed one. He put the rest back.

"Now, let's go get the eggs."

"We just need one, right?"

"Yes. We can just open a carton'n'take one."

"Isn't that, like, stealing, though?"

"We're summoning Satan, why does that bloody matter all of a sudden?!"

"I-I dunno...Sorry."

"That's what I like to hear. Now, come along. Don't touch anything!" Murdoc said, as 2D dropped the package of meatballs he was holding.

They started to walk off towards the dairy section.

"Muds, I gotta question."

"Yeah? Don't make it a stupid one, faceache."

"Um, why are the eggs in the dairy section if they're not milk or ice cream?"

"Fuck if I know, dullard. That was a pretty moronic question, if y'ask me."

"But I just did!"

"Auuughhh, you idiot!" Murdoc said, grabbing a carton of eggs. He opened it, grabbed one, and shoved it in his pocket.

"So, what else do we need?" 2D said nervously, hoping to avoid the current subject.

"We got everything. Now, let's leg it!" The two bandmates walked to the exit of the store. Just then, Russel and Noodle appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

"Where were you two?" Russel asked.

"Yeah, we've been waiting forever!" Noodle chimed in.

"Errr, well, 2D had to, um," Murdoc said nervously.

"Use the bathroom!" 2D said.

"Yeah, that. Now, let's go. I'm tired as hell." Murdoc said.

The four bandmates walked out of the store as the sun set.


End file.
